grieving a loss...

She came into our living room last night, clearly shaken, overwhelmed, confused and struggling...

"Baby, what's wrong?  What's got you so upset?"

My precious 10 year old had questions about certain "words" and "phrases" and "situations."

Yep... those words, those phrases, and those situations.

Apparently some kids at school were discussing certain topics that my 10 year old was completely oblivious to. And believe me, her naivety was very intentional on her Dad and Mom's behalf!

We are very, very careful about what our kiddos watch, listen to, see on the internet and who they spend time with.  It's not by mistake that I've been labeled a helicopter parent - ya know, one that hovers over her children!

So there are certain topics and words that we have not introduced to our oldest yet because we felt she wasn't ready.  She's only 10 for crying out loud!!

So you can imagine the furry that welled up inside me when some kid at school decided she was ready...

There's no need for detail, but praise GOD, she wasn't too scarred or confused by what she heard.  She just had questions and we did our best to answer them in a way that we felt was appropriate without confusing her more but bringing peace to her little mind.

I knew the day was coming, but we, her parents, planned to be the initiator of those conversations.

And what I'm grieving is the loss of my little girl.

As she was talking, this is what I saw...

...my precious, blue-eyed, naive little baby.  My first-born. 

And it feels like I lost that last night.  

Her eyes have been opened to things that are only for those leaving child-hood and entering into the next season of life.  She now has questions and burdens that are not associated with being a little girl...

And it grieves me to my core.

I know this transition is normal, natural and even praise-worthy!  But it still hurts.

And it brings up a constant struggle we have of finding balance for our kids...

You see, as parents who are committed to raising your children in a way that honors God and the truth of His word, it's always hard to know how much your children should be exposed to.  Some use this struggle to justify their choice for public school, private school and homeschool.  It's a big deal...

And I've got to be perfectly honest here....If I could, I would move my family to a house on a mountain and only come down a few times a year for food.  I would isolate us from the rest of the world and live in a happy, safe Brown Family Bubble!

But we all know that's not reality.  And...it makes us completely useless for advancing the gospel...which is our purpose as Christians, right?!

So since my bubble theory doesn't seem to pan out, I cling to something a very wise lady once told me...

You can't isolate your children from the world, so you insulate them with the Word of God.

Face it parent, your children are going to be exposed to sin and corruption (although I understand the desire for that exposure to be on your terms. Believe me, I do!) so the only peace we can have, as parents, is to make sure they are fully insulated with the truth found in scripture.

Teach it to your kids.

Study it with your kids.

Memorize it with your kids.

And live it out in front of your kids.

After my baby went to bed last night, I looked at Lee and said, "What do we do?"

Praise the Lord for my amazing, godly husband who is my voice of wisdom when emotions have the best of me. (See, I was ready to call the school this morning and tell them she'd never be back. Ever. I even looked into homeschool for college.)

He looked at me and simply said, "We redeem it."

Wow.

We use the beauty of God's Word to teach our babies how God can make right what the world has made wrong.

We use the beauty of God's Word to show our babies how God intended things to be and how we, as Christians, fight to redeem that in a lost and fallen world.