Thursday, November 14, 2013

encouragement (hopefully!) for the weary mom

I was sitting in an interview with our social worker for the adoption and she began asking those questions you hate to answer...

"Describe yourself in 3 words."

"What's your greatest struggle?"

"How would your friends and family describe you?"

Ugh - I can not stand to answer those kinds of questions!  I mean really...I'm sitting in an office with a lady that has a large amount of control over this adoption that really an environment for which one should feel comfortable airing their dirty laundry?!?

Then she started asking questions that were more manageable...

"How would you describe your family growing up?"

"What is your relationship with your parents like?"

"Describe your mom."

Those I can do.  And after I answered the one about Mom, I began thinking about myself in light of how my mother parented me...

{Side note:  I didn't ask my mom for permission to share this stuff so I hope she's ok with it!  Love you Mom!}
Over the summer, I was down visiting my parents for a few days with my kiddos.  Somehow, my girls stumbled upon some of my old toys, crafts, yearbooks, cheerleading uniforms, and some other treasures from my childhood.  They found all of it stuffed in a trunk in my parents' attic.

My girls laughed and played with those things for hours and I had so much fun watching them enjoy things I enjoyed as a girl.

Later they looked at some old family photos.  They found these tossed into a box in a hutch somewhere.

Here's the reality of how my Mom was when my brother and I were growing up...

She would have never been Pinterest approved.  Never.  Ever.

  • Our snacks never had a theme and our lunch was never color coordinated.  As a matter of fact, I remember eating vienna sausages right out of the can.  What?!?  
  • Our school & craft projects were never dated or tucked neatly away in crates with colored folders.
  • Our birthday parties would've never showed up on Facebook for all to admire.

But here's the reality...

I would argue anyone to my death that I have the BEST MOTHER ever!  I really do.  She's full of love and compassion.  She listens and cares and loves deeply!  I have always been very close to my Mom (both of my parents actually!)  and am proud to call her one of my best friends.

Even as a teenager, she and I never had any major disagreements like so many do.  And...get ready for this one...we never argued a single time while planning my wedding. What?!

I adore my Mom and I have never ever felt slighted because my childhood memories aren't nestled away in a Pinterest-approved type of get up.  And it sure didn't hinder my girls from getting a glimpse into their Mommy's past.

Most moms are super defensive and critical and that's not my point at all, so before you crafty, super organized, Pinterest-perfect Moms get frustrated and go on the defense, hear me out...

I'm the opposite of my mom on most of those things mentioned above.  I really am... and it's kind of funny that I turned out that way!
For fear of sounding boastful,  I won't list specific things I do that Mom didn't do!  Just trust me... we're different!

Here's the truth though...I'm no better at being Mom because I keep color coordinated files of my children's school work.

And she's no better because she didn't.

I genuinely enjoy my label maker and files and big birthday parties -  that's why I do it!  It's fun to me!  Some of you moms don't care a thing about that....and that's ok!  It really is!

I suppose my point is this...

You were knit together by our Creator in a certain way.  Your unique ways play out in the exhausting, overwhelming, guilt-producing world of Mommy-hood!  

So find rest, weary Mom...

The Lord knew what He was doing when He gifted you in certain ways.  And it's ok if your gifts and interests are different than your neighbors, your Facebook friends and your sister-in-law!

It really is ok - this coming from one type of mom that was raised by a completely different type of mom!  

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